Crash The Boat? Check.

Crash The Boat? Check.

Day 4 (whaaaaat!!?)

Woke up to calamity. The dingy was gone. Nobody knows how (Nate or Caz didn’t tie it up properly in the excitement of disembowelling Bambi, monkey pirates stole it, or it had just had enough and decided to go on holiday. Take your pick). We searched fruitlessly for abit, gave up and decided to look for one to steal instead as we sailed to Langkawi – we remain dingy-less to the present day. The sail was delightful, although we were all on serious cigarette rations by now. Soon enough we arrived at the opulent Royal Langkawi Yacht Club and radioed ahead for a parking space. Passing by many super yachts worth millions, we held our head up high and decided to invest in some pot plants at the next opportunity, just to keep up appearances. Unfortunately, due to abit of a muddle up the slot we’d been given was really very much too small for us, and even more unfortunately right next to a beaut little yacht that was very shiny and fresh. Too shiny and fresh. It needed abit of character, and as we careened into it at full speed, looks of horror transfixed on everyones faces (perfect selfie time for me and Chaz of course) – well it got it I suppose. Dennis did the best possible job in the circumstances, and due to this the damage was much less then it could of been as everybody frantically scrabbled to push us off the other one, trying not to shout too much as it looks unprofessional lol. One bent rail and a few scratches later we were in.





The boys all got off, leaving me and Charlotte boat sitting whilst they checked in and Dustin went in search of beer. It was then we met the delightful Dean, a little Malaysian chap who’s worked at the yacht club for 10 years. We had a very pleasant chat with him about our little collision which he had to report, what all our names were, where we were all from, how to say hello in Malaysian, and that when the boys came back we had to move places because, actually this one was too small. O.o

With the boys back, an excellent spot of boat manoeuvring by Dennis and a solid effort from all the boys we were moved to our new location and set out to explore and have a bloody well deserved drink. It turned out to be the start of many. Dennis bumped into the couple who owned the boat that had taken the bump and very luckily for us they were a crazy old couple from Australia who looked like raisins and who could of made our lives miserable, but were really very accommodating about the whole debacle. After having a few drinks with them at the marina bar, we then had a few more drinks on the boat, then we all had some jäger, then we piled in a taxi to meet Dustins friend Steve at a restaurant where me an Charlotte indulged in three shots of rum and Dennis ruined my social manners by pulling faces at me across the table whilst a very important conversation was taking place and reducing me to helpless peals of completely inappropriate laughter.


With that over, and Dustin back from a beer run it was back into a cab, the music came out and things started getting sloppy. Hitting a bar I’d been to before with my girls Sarah and Erica probably about a year ago I struck up a conversation with a very nice young French chap and his girlfriend, more jäger went down and other things I imagine. No memories of how we arrived at a club, but arrive at a club we did. Apparently there was live music and we all had a cracking time, I remember Charlotte and Dennis possibly doing some kind of salsa dance. Charlotte went arse over bollock at the bar, and Caz had to help Dennis – who was “seriously wobbly” at that point, into the cab. Passed out in the taxi home, god knows how we all made it back to the boat, but in a blissful drunken haze the night ended, my last memory is being curled up in a ball on deck at the front of the boat.

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