Woke up really early still pissed as a fart with Caz in my face saying something about awards for being the drunkest person in Langkawi last night, an award which I still firmly believe should have gone to Dennis as at least I didn’t try and lay down in the road after the taxi and say “its all right guys just leave me here, look after the boat”…. And everyone else still scattered around all over the place. Vaguely somehow got out of last nights clothes into a bikini and put sun cream on so it of course started raining. Everyone got straight back on the beer to put off the inevitable hangovers, and then it was off into town to clear customs. It was a right shit show rocking up to immigration I can tell you right now. A few selfies later somehow we all managed to check into Indonesia. Me and Charlotte had a ridiculous time in some massage chairs we found, I couldn’t figure it out at all and we ended up with an audience of Malay cleaners taking pictures of us and putting the money in for me, Dustin couldn’t handle even watching, got in a right flap, dropped his croissant on the floor and had to leave.

After that it was a solid amount of beer drinking and catching up on wifi for me whilst everyone else went and fixed the raisin Ozzies boat, apparently the lady was abit more off then she’d been the previous evening, but after having a Johnny Walker for breakfast she perked up, the boat was patched up a charm and they ended up getting along famously and being given two bottles of homemade cider to bring back with them.

After a nap on the boat, colossal hangovers set in and we set off out of the marina. As it started getting darker we found a convenient island and anchored up for the night. We had no idea at the time but it later turned out the convenient island was Palau Payar – a national marine reserve. Ahem. Anyway fishing rods came out and they were coming in thick and fast, beautiful big ones, faster then we could believe obviously because it’s strictly forbidden to fish there o.O. Shortly after Aeg managed to hoist up a stingray, finished what I assumed was him off appropriately and then to my absolute shock a little baby one popped out of it. There are no words. And it was too late for the little nipper unfortunately and nothing to be done about it. More fish were reeled in. And then another stingray. All checks were made to see if it was pregnant and it didn’t seem to be so it met the same end as the other one. It was only after everything had been done and Aeg was about to put it in the cooler to my absolute complete horror and dismay he picked it up and I saw it, yelling “THERE’S SOMETHING COMING OUT OF IT” and like a little grey tube another baby slid out and landed on the deck, smaller then the palm of my hand. We threw it straight back into the water and I was collectively tricked and told it was alive, until the next day when Caz told me unceremoniously that it was well and truly dead. Traumatised. And not soothed at all by Cazs explanation that they are just machines and don’t have feelings. Either way it had happened and as I said we have a policy of not wasting anything (to be honest Bambi-gate hardened me up considerably), so we had a feast that night!!

After, the boys decided to investigate the plankton situation and apparently they were amazing so me and Charlotte donned masks and stuck out heads in off the back of the boat. Instantly soaked it seemed silly to not just get in, so we did for a grand total of about 10 seconds before lots sneaky stringy jelly fish were sticking all over us. They don’t sting but there was an appropriate amount of freaking out, screaming and clambering back on to the boat pronto like.

The next day was a beaut, the weather was heavenly and the island like paradise. Taking the blatant mickey we drove right in front of the reserve building and the boys went spear fishing. Caz caught his first Rabbit fish and was over the moon about it – although narrowly avoided traumatising a boat of cheerfully waving Asian tourists who zoomed past just as the reel with the dead fish on it attached to Caz whipped round the corner of our boat and out of sight. Me and Charlotte were in charge of preparing all the MANY fish we had for breakfast (except Cazs Rabbit fish which he wanted to do himself) and we absolutely smashed it, stuffing them all up with herbs, garlic, lime and some curry ones for a barbecue breakfast of champions.

After that we headed to an unknown completely deserted little island, that we ended up calling Cross Island because after kayaking over and exploring thoroughly me and Chaz found a super creepy little wooden cross hanging off a tree into the water – which obviously means voodoo in our book. Anyway we scampered around, the boys throwing themselves off trees and ropes etc and ended up playing a fairly aggressive game of homemade baseball during which I cut my foot on a stick and Caz ended up wearing a coconut shell on his head. Heading back to the boat the night was rounded off nicely with a movie and another day was done.

The next day dawned pristine and glittering and with the idea of aiming somewhere near Penang we set off after a breakfast of whelks (kinds of sea snail/shell things that Aeg and Nate collected whilst on a recovery mission for a knife that had gone overboard previously). Soon we came across another little island and the boys spotted coconut trees. The kayaks came out and before we knew what was happening they’d set off with Bubbles (one half of our walkie talkie set) leaving me Chaz and Dennis with Squeak (naturally). About half an hour into waiting and after getting ridiculous on Squeak without any reply, Dennis came up with the completely logical conclusion that the three of us should crack onto the jäger, and that was the end of that for the three of us I’m afraid. After polishing off the jäger, and a few shots of whiskey we realised supplies were getting low. By the time the boys came back we were down to vodka, bright green cream soda syrup and water. We had a great time there was lots of singing and selfies and other such delightful things, but for details you’d have to ask the boys because for us three everything is slightly fuzzy, cream soda soaked and green, I know that they did get coconuts and saw a Komodo. Me and Chaz woke up the next morning at some unknown marina near Penang that neither of us had any memory of getting to. Boom!